I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
