you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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