You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
