If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
