My entire life is one complicated drinking game
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
