if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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