My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
