I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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