What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
