He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
