i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
