TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
