you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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