WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
