I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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