rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
