TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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