He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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