It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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