Yo dont text me then not text me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
