# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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