are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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