You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
