Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
