I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
