oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
