Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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