I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
