help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
