I could have mohawked her pubes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
