Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
