Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
