It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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