Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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