Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
