Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
