I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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