I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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