Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
