The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
