You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
