i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Randomize
