i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
