Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
