Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
