I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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