haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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