Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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