I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
