Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
