it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
