I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
