Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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