and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
