Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
