I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
