i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
