dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
