Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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